A LONER IN LOVE
The intentional positive loner — Albert Einstein.
The intentional negative loner — The Joker.
The Unintentional loner — Neville Longbottom.
The Short-Term loner — Serena Williams.
The Chronic Loner — Tom Hanks.
I do not have enough experience to know the kind of person I am in a serious long term relationship. But, I know exactly the kind of boyfriend/husband I wish to be. It is this lack of experience that gets me scared and praying that I do not become the toxic boyfriend/husband that I vehemently condemn.
I have loved in the past and I’d like to believe that I was loved back, but it was never long enough for me to get comfortable; will I be stingy, will I give up on trying to be my best, will I be angry and violent, will I even be able to live with another person, especially a female for only a year; with my OCD (falsely accused), loner vibe and impatience. Now, imagine, for the rest of my life? Dang it!
I have seen a lot of couple goals on TikTok and Instagram but I am not a believer in “relationship templates”, you can not teach my how to love, you have to let the couple find their rhythm. Even though there are basic or fundamental requirements for a relationship to be one, ultimately, what works for one will not necessarily work for the other, that’s why it’s always funny to me that a couple only two weeks into marriage already have a YouTube channel, talking about dos and don’ts of marriage, Please don’t make me laugh.
Confession; Lately; I have been craving couple activities, I want a team player of my own, the one who is willing to choose me every time. But, I am reserved to give it my all because of my doubts, insufficiency and uncertainties. I always have to be certain about the future before I attempt a thing, I don’t be like “let me try and see where it takes me”, Maybe that’s the problem; or maybe it’s cuz ‘I too like fine gals and you know say fine gals na wahala’. Lol, I am just looking out for my kids, they can’t afford to look like me. Las las, a genuine relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other
I see my friends with their wives and I’m like “this is cute and wholesome”. But do we have to be together all the time? what if I don’t feel like seeing you or sleep next to you today? Shey I can not read in peace without you walking around in bum shorts with fried chicken from the kitchen restricting my air flow? I love you but Kindly go to your father’s house for two weeks now!
I want to love my girlfriend/wife with all that I am, but I am afraid that I won’t let myself do that. We all feel the pressure to actively do things to sustain our relationships, which is very important but the first statement of this paragraph just made me realize that it doesn’t have to be all on me or my significant other. No matter the kind of person you are, your zodiac, level of maturity, temperament or orientation, you have to look up to God for sustenance and this is where I’ll leave it. Don’t disturb me, it’s ON GOD.
Yours Alone
@jb_booksz.
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