I LOST MY DRIVE
Navigating through life with so much passion and chutzpah. I was on the move and ready for my destination until… My life became like a car with every part intact except the steering, engine works but no sense on direction, brain and mind works but no sense of direction. I guess its safe to say that I lost my drive.
Acquiring a job was the best thing that could have happened to me after NYSC, in fact, I grew to the top so fast at my job, it’s almost unbelievable, I clearly saw the hand of God, so it was a good thing. The problem here was that I stopped doing everything that made me feel alive. Believe it or not, Sometimes we forget that we are alive and we all have things we do or even people that make our souls tickle. that way, we are constantly reminded of our very own selves.
I was always tired to go to church during the weekdays and sometimes on Sundays too, too lazy to attend concerts, I stopped playing Basketball as often as I used to, stopped recording and putting out music. You know what I found? I did not stop doing all these stuff because I got a job and it was taking all my time, being busy was not the problem. I stopped doing them because I changed, I thought that getting a job and making money was everything I needed to run my life and provide. I am not even making enough; I thought that if I exerted all efforts and focused, “Life go balance”.
I am not not making “enough” money and I wasn’t happy at the same time. Life was all work with no passion and drive, even at work (I hope my boss doesn’t read this), So clearly, something was missing. I have to win at one and the best option to choose always is to be happy.
Do you know why motivational speakers and entrepreneurs say you should always use what you enjoy doing to make money? It’s because you are, first of all, happy. Happiness or Joy is not derived from your job or business, you may be happy with your job but not necessarily joyous (topic of another day). I believe that I can do anything if I have Joy, I am not working at a particular place because it gives me joy, No! I can work anywhere because I have Joy inside of me as a fruit of the Holy Spirit and I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me (Phil 4:13), this is why I think that it’s on me, that I have lost my passion and drive; God, Family, Teaching/Writing, Music and Balling (in that particular order).
My life was a routine, I was a Zombie. Work, 2–3 episodes of a Series I was interested in at the time, Sleep then work again. I thought I hated my job.
Now, I am making gracious efforts to change this, so I can be better. I try by all means to be present at D’Waters Friday Fellowships, Light Wk on Saturday Mornings. I just accepted a tasking post in my church youth. I try to go home more often. I have a 7 or 8 track EP to record, working on two YouTube shows. I am so excited, I feel alive and active, like my soul just got a pinch or a CPR and it’s back from Limbo.
The moral of the story is, do not forget to be alive, feel your soul, see yourself. Do not loose yourself to the pressure of life, ‘wahala no dey finish abi’. This is how you slip into depression and become suicidal.
Know God, Know your purpose, find a passion and let them drive you. Also learn to play music in your room and dance (I am not here yet), then, you are solid.
Be better.
